Trusting God

I am proudly a Christian. I strive to be a "little Christ." I am not perfect though.

Most people can see all of my obvious imperfections. I nag. I'm persistent (which at times is bad). I can be nosey. Do I need to go on? We can point out our own, and usually other people's faults fairly easy. But what about the non-obvious faults.

Most people can also see that I am a very trusting individual. There are two ways of dealing with trust and others. 1. trust until they hurt you or 2.don't trust until they give you reason TO trust them. I fall in the first category. I trust way more than I should and at times, it ends up hurting me. I will be your great, trusting friend, until you give me reason not to trust you.

So, why do I struggle with trusting God at times? I think it might be because I am a control freak and I am too afraid to hand all my issues fully to God. I, just this past week, started the bible study with a friend called Discerning the Voice of God. Funny, the first couple of days it talked about trusting God. You don't hear an answer because you aren't asking because you don't trust, is what God revealed to me that second day of the study. Ouch. Yes, God you are correct. It is easy for me to ask God the questions that I feel pretty confident on what His answer will be. However, the questions that I need to ask that I am afraid to ask because I don't know his answer and am scared it may be the answer I don't want.

I'm sure it is easier for a parent to understand this more than a non-parent (which is what I am, so it is harder for me), that God has the best in mind for us. Like a parent for the child, they have the best interest of the child in mind when they make the decisions that they make, God is like that. He knows what is best for us....that's why He is God and we are not. So, why are we thinking we know more than God? By us not trusting God, it is like we are telling God to shove off....we know more than you. Wow. Not cool. Yet, that is what I do quite often...unknowingly.

God, I want to trust you. I do trust you now. I'm sorry for not doing so before.